Lily Potter
by TMI2011
Summary: AU. Severus Snape survives Nagini's attack. He suddenly finds himself getting a second chance with his first and only love in a very unexpected way. They live as muggles, at least to begin with. But, will they find their peace? Somehow, that's highly doubtful in the world of magic. This is not a time turner fiction.
1. Chapter 1: I've Been Counting

_Update 8/25/13: I'm back to writing again after the long hiatus. Thank you for putting up with me. I'm revised individual chapters first before continuing the story._

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Wish I did, but I don't. So instead, I'm here writing for an awesome fandom with the hopes that others will find this story at least a bit intriguing. Enjoy and reviews are always appreciated!**

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><p>Everything hurt. There was no other way to say it. Skin felt like it was rolled back on itself. Disgusting thought, but true all the same. Breathing was a labored effort. The fact that he still could though—after the last few minutes, he had been completely convinced it was all over. His eyes had closed softly in a false sense of peace after staring into Potter's eyes one last time. They would never be a great substitute for the real thing, but he didn't have any choice. Starting a mental assessment of what needed to be fixed, he knew he couldn't do it alone.<p>

But who was left to trust? It wasn't a matter of who he could at this point. He was done trusting people. Not knowing what world stood outside those doors, he was better off continuing to be thought of as dead. The smell of his own blood suffocated him a second time. Forcing his own eyes open, he stoically took in the room. That horrifying example of a snake had done this. He could still feel the force of his body slapping against the wall like a broken toy. Bones shifting into areas never meant to be pressed down upon.

Ignoring the pain to the best of his ability, he rolled to his side. There was quite literally nothing left. Potter had the memories he wanted to pass on. Just apparate out of this hell he'd kept himself in for years and leave. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he shook his head. No. He couldn't have that escape yet. He had promised to protect Harry with his life. He had not seen that promise through and wouldn't until he knew for sure.

His neck started to spasm. Oh, the pain-it was worse that any Cruciatus curse he had ever lasted through. Even if he had prepared for a direct murder attempt, this was not the way he had wanted to pass. Trying to move his neck as little as possible, he finally felt the familiar bark in his hands. Though he might truly be returning to the grave, he had to know.

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><p>"Sir, you need to lay back down until the doctor releases you. I know it's been a long few weeks, but just let us finish this last task. Please!"<p>

The petite nurse was no match for the exasperated ex-professor, but he finally gave her one last glare before complying. Why did he come to a hospital after watching Harry's victory? Oh, yes—to keep his secret. Didn't mean he had to like it. He had covered the teen in secret in the last moments of the fight with Voldemort. Hiding behind one of the broken pillars, he was ready to fire off a needed spell if it became obvious that Potter was going to lose. Luckily that hadn't been the case. With one last look at now happy green eyes, he apparated to the first place he could think of—a local hospital near Spinner's End—and broke his wand near the river. No traces no matter what.

For the last three weeks he had been treated for a blow to the neck due to flying metal in an "unusual building explosion". With the ministry in a mess immediately post-war, he felt safe using a few spells out of turn. But today was the last day. He'd finally be out of this nonsense. Five potions would have done the same trick. If he had been smart, he would have made a cursory visit to St. Mungo's before returning to his hometown. Time just wasn't his friend.

Glaring once more at the door, he ignored the nurse's request and pulled out his clothes to change into. He would leave the moment that doctor released him. And that is when everything went to hell. Noise outside the room door rose drastically before it suddenly opened up. A different female ran in and slammed the door shut. Her hair was a tangled, sweaty mess of waist-length black locks; almost bad enough to rival his own when he was in the middle of finishing a large potion order. It wasn't until her tearful eyes locked on his that his heart stop.

"Severus!"

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><p>She couldn't run hard enough. For the last 12 years she had been counting down to today. Never knowing why, she just knew it would be one of the most important days of her life. She had been a patient in the psychiatric ward for as long as she could remember. Her adopted parents had found her wandering the streets one day and officially took her in after all the necessary paperwork had been completed. But things grew sour when she started her obsession with the calendar. As soon as she had learned to count she started scribbling on pieces of paper. It didn't matter what it was, she's always add the latest countdown to something at least once a day.<p>

They grew more disturbed as she recounted overly-fanciful tales of people and a magical town of some sort. Having only been home schooled it just made no sense. She had no interest in social interactions. She always spoke of the boy. She was waiting for him. Always speaking of how worried she was that he wouldn't recognize her because she didn't look right. They'd always tell her there was nothing wrong with how she looked. Just because her skin was a little darker than their own didn't make her wrong. But she'd just burst into tears and tell them they didn't understand.

After so many years of it, they finally had her admitted at 13. And it was a rough experience. With only the essentials and a wooden stick she was found with, the teen began a new stage in her life. Unlike the stereotypes of psych wards, the staff didn't harm her—as least not in the usual sense. Her pain was only caused by harsh words; constant denials of her stories. No one hurt her physically. She wasn't called stupid-just too imaginative. They killed her with kindness and it hurt deeply.

When she had crossed off the last day of her countdown, the staff hadn't known what to expect. She woke up in a bright mood full of laughter and smiles. Every request was met without argument. Even when she went for a walk in the garden, she didn't try to do anything. That should have been the red flag. For even though she was usually a rather calm patient, she was still known for rebelling now and then. The moment someone looked away, she took off for the door to the lower levels of the hospital.

Punching in the code she had memorized weeks ago (for they liked to rotate them frequently), she was off. He was somewhere near and she just knew it. Not concerned with the way she looks to anyone she would pass, the 17-year-old planned to just run down each floor until it felt right. This was the intuition that had helped her all her life. She couldn't consider the idea that it suddenly wouldn't work now.

She made it down to the third floor before the security guard had gotten word about her. David was always slower though. She had overheard about his knee surgery a few weeks ago. With Mitchell on break down in the cafeteria, he just didn't matter to her at the moment. This seemed to be the adult wing. He'd be in here if her dates were correct. Those rare days made her second-guess herself for a minute since she saw white walls most of the time.

Her heart was continuing to pump with adrenaline as she suddenly ducked her head passing another nurse's station. Her hands trailed just under the counter as she spun over to the right. She was closer. Suddenly she slid a room door open and dashed in. David was apparently a little faster than she thought. She could hear him speaking to the nurses on duty. Damn. Too close. Locking the door in place, she turned around to assess the room. But then she saw him.

"Severus!"

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><p>Those eyes. Those green eyes he knew so well. But the possibility that it could be her…No. He had held her in his arms after the life had left them. There was just no way. He'd seen many impossible things over the years but this wasn't one of them.<p>

"I don't know who you think you are—"

He was cut off as tears ran down her eyes. The young woman ran over to him, hugging him tightly around his waist. She was shaking badly, muttering under her breath. The words were too fast for him to understand, but it felt like a mantra. Growing more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed, both of their eyes were drawn to the rattling door. Just behind the white curtains a security guard could be made out. The red-faced man was shouting angrily. The girl's eyes grew wide and tightened more around his waist. Stepping back only slightly, she looked up at him with frantic eyes.

"You have to listen to me, Severus. I know I'm going to sound crazy, but you have to believe me. You can't let them take me away. Please. It's me. It's—"

The door slammed open as the curtain was ripped aside. Grabbing his face gently with her hands, she tried to keep his focus on her and continued ignoring the angered staff behind her.

"Severus. It's me. It's Lily. I can prove it. You were the one to show me magic. You hate my sister. We were at Hogwarts together. The best of friends. James Potter…We—"

"Lily Potter, you let him go right now."

Lily's eyes began to tear again as she shook her head. Refusing to look away from Severus, she cried out as she was snatched from his arms.

"Sev, please. You've got to believe me. Don't let them take me. Sev, please!"

Losing color in his face, Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. It didn't make sense. Was it actually possible? He knew he was amongst muggles. Outside of Lily and Petunia, no one else knew the truth about him. Unconsciously stretching a hand out towards the shrieking female, a needle was lifted in the air and about to make contact with her neck. Feeling a deep sense of danger, he knocked it away.

"Wait a minute. Let me talk to her."

"Sir, this patient needs to be subdued. She's not supposed to be down here. You can make arrangements with the psych ward if you truly wish to speak with her."

Another nurse stepped through the crowd with a look of disbelief on his face.

"You know her? All the years she's been in here no one's ever come to see her. How can you possibly know her?"

Everyone's eyes fell on him and the murmurs slowly grew quiet. Even Lily's shrieks subsided for the moment.

"It's him. It's Severus. I told you all I wasn't crazy. I was right. Today, on the calendar, I told you!"

Thinking of an excuse, Severus' face grew blank. "Young Lily here knows me from her childhood. Before I moved, I knew her parents. Only saw her a handful of times. Contrary to your belief, it is possible for her to have recalled some distant memory of me."

Lily nodded, desperate to stay in the room with him. Staring both of them down silently, the male nurse gently took Lily's arm in his hand. Gesturing the rest of the staff out of the room, he waited for the last person to leave.

"While I'm very happy for you, Lily, you cannot just go running off anywhere you please. If Severus here truly did know you and your parents, he will have no trouble completing the necessary paperwork to prove it and scheduling a chaperoned appointment to see you himself. We are returning to your room now. Say goodbye to your friend."

Reaching a hand out to him, Lily sobbed loudly as Severus held her hand. She searched his eyes for a minute before squeezing the larger hand a few times.

"Please come back. I need to—we need to talk. Don't leave me here alone."

Knowing it would be appropriate to hug a relative stranger in the nurse's eyes, Severus just squeezed her hand back gently.

"I promise you, Lily. I will always come back to you. You will not be abandoned."

The tearful smile stayed on her face as she whispered to herself, "always".


	2. Chapter 2: A Chaperoned Visit

**Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own anything nor do I make any money from this.**

**Author's Note: Thanks for the great response to this story! Was really hoping it would be of interest even though I'm taking a very different take on things post-Hogwarts. And don't worry. I have a number of twists added to this story. Nothing is what it seems. Also, I've done a little bit of research to get a general idea on psych wards. I've read a variety of takes on experiences, but hopefully the way I approach this is as realistic as possible. This story will be updated fairly regularly, as I have time. I'll try to be consistent to the best of my ability.**

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><p>She had finally seen him. Smiling as she was escorted back up to the psych ward, Lily didn't protest as the wing's door was re-coded right after they arrived. The male nurse walked her through the lounge area and lunch room all the way to her bed. Ignoring her roommate, she felt the needle in her neck as the meds kicked in. She may have lost her freedom for the rest of the day, but all she could think about was the fact that she was right. Severus was real. Severus cared. Severus wasn't going to leave her.<p>

"Always…"

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><p>He couldn't keep his hand from shaking as he signed the discharge papers. She…Lily…How could he be able to speak to her again? It was more than he could ever dream of. He had replayed that day so many times. Wished he could take it back. Wished she could have understood his passion wasn't misguided. Even after all he did, it wasn't for evil. Why had it gone so wrong? Half-listening to the doctor's last orders, he had a nurse escort him up to the psych ward.<p>

What were these muggles thinking? All the way on the top floor? Clenching his jaw lightly, he observed the security guard entering the code. The man hunched over the pad as if it would prevent him from seeing it. This stupidity was almost as bad as his students. As if a spy, even a magical one, couldn't figure out what a password was. This was exactly why he didn't miss this world. Ignorance ran at too high of a level.

Fingers hovering over where his wand used to be kept, Severus hid his frustration at getting rid of it. This would have been a wonderful moment to obliviate a few people. Sneering as the guard waved him in, he assessed the room he was entering. It felt like Madam Pomfrey's hospital wing—unnecessarily welcoming with more than what was truly needed. Muggle artwork huge over a number of walls and the secretary's desk was covered in all sorts of childish trinkets.

"Mr. Snape, we were told you were on your way up. I've been told you would like to schedule a visitation appointment with one of our patients. May I have the name, please?"

"If you know I was visiting, how are you unaware of the patient's name?"

The young woman grew a little flustered as the man's glare grew in severity. Typing a note into the system, her eyes flickered back up to him.

"With all due respect, sir—it's protocol to protect patient privacy. I need you to give me the complete name of the patient or you cannot schedule an appointment."

"Lily Potter. She doesn't have a middle name. If it's not too hard to comprehend, I would like a meeting scheduled for tomorrow 9 a.m. sharp."

The secretary brought up the patient file on the computer. Entering more information, she pulled a pamphlet from a drawer and handed it to him. The visiting hours had been highlighted in bright red ink with a disclaimer that no exceptions would be allowed. Placing it back on the counter, Severus spun it back around towards her.

"I was told by another nurse it would be a chaperoned visit. Since I can guarantee normal visits are in private, I'll have to ignore the blatant exception you've just proven. I will be here at 9 a.m. sharp tomorrow. See to it that both Ms. Potter and the chaperone are there."

Without waiting for a response, he exited the ward. The secretary completed her note on the file before exiting the program. A grim look covered her face as she shook her head. There always had to be those kinds of visitors. Always on a high horse. Glad the day was ending, she completed the last of her duties and got ready to head home for the day.

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><p>Staring up at the ceiling, Lily's mind was on fast-forward. She could imagine sitting down with Severus to tell him all about what she wanted to do again. She missed the feel of her wand in her hand as she was making a potion. The way Hogwarts looked at night as she walked back from a Hogsmeade weekend. Even the few rare occasions she had managed to make Severus laugh at a joke.<p>

He looked so different from what she had imagined. She knew he would age over the years, but he had looked so tired. Yes, Sev had always been rather down with looks but never this defeated. Only now that she had the chance to really think over his looks could she swallow the bitterness of having a giant gap in her memories. Things were different, that was obvious. But the fact that so many years escaped her was always painful. She didn't have access to the resources she used to. What happened to everyone from school? Why did Severus look like he'd seen a ghost? She had been sure some rouge spell did this to her.

But she wasn't a 4th year student anymore. Hogwarts walls weren't around to protect her. Not even Petunia to come and complain about her. What she wouldn't give to hear her sisters painful words. Just to know someone from her past cared. She had told the foster family about her when she was old enough to communicate. Told them she had a younger sister, the address, everything. No one would check. No one would believe her. She was so tired of going from psych ward to psych ward.

But Sev would save her. He had to. The only tie to her real past had to come through. If it didn't—no, she couldn't think that way. The biggest hurdle had been passed. She just needed to get out of this place for good and stay hidden for another eight months. Then she'd have more legal rights and check herself out if caught. The further away she got from here the better. Though she doubted she could ever see Hogwarts again, she'd love to see Hogsmeade one last time. Slipping her right hand under the pillow, she felt her wand and took a deep breath. She'd be sure to ask Severus why her wand no longer worked for her anymore.

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><p>Slamming his door shut, Severus looked at the dusty room in front of him with scorn. He had promised himself after going into hiding he would never return here. But where else did he have to go? And without the bloody wand he'd have to clean things manually. Ignoring it all for the time being, he collapsed into the nearest chair and rested his head in his hands.<p>

Lily.

He had to plan. There was no question about getting her out of there. The staff believed him to be a family friend she knew as a kid. But that wouldn't be good enough. He had seen the suspicion on that nurse's face. No kid would be that excited to see someone who had been in their life so briefly. Not enough to have done a countdown for years until their arrival. And how had she known? Lily was no seer.

Pulling on his oily locks, he groaned. What to do? The lie would work through the appointment. Then he needed to find a way to talk with her alone for a minute. Without his wand, and being believed to be deceased, he couldn't just stroll into Diagon Alley to get some money. No. Not even Knockturn Alley was an option at this point. And with Potter having those memories…Knowing that child, he'd try and draw attention to Snape's past.

One of the dishes carelessly left on the counter months ago fell to the floor suddenly. As it shattered, a grin started to cover his face. A plan was set. It wouldn't be easy, but it would get her out and that's all he cared about. Everything would be explained and figured out once they were isolated. Standing, he made his way up the creaky staircase to his bedroom. Some rest would do him some good. He thought he was done with excitement in his life.

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><p>The morning came fast and Severus was ready to put things in motion. He entered the hospital with a blank expression, only nodding at the security guard in the psych ward. It was a different man from the day before. Younger, so he'd be harder to overcome physically, but his fingers were tapping on his leg when he had been sitting down. That sort of nervous energy meant he was easily distracted. Just the kind of person Severus liked. The secretary gave him a quick once-over before holding up a pass wordlessly.<p>

"Keep that on you at all times during your visit or you will be escorted from this floor. Go through the doorway and you'll be escorted to the visitation room."

Tucking the orange card into his pocket, he looked around the lounge as he crossed the room. There were a series of chairs and couches he was sure were meant to look spontaneously set around a television. It was beyond clinical. The walls were mint green and featured drawings of people in different settings—the very thing isolated psych patients wanted to see. Rolling his eyes, he noted the 3 windows and two lenses in the corner of the ceiling facing the door he was about to enter. What did the muggles call those again? Security cameras? Yes. That was it. The kind used to monitor people. One spell would have solved that…

A nurse smiled at him softly and silently walked him into the room where Lily was already waiting. The teen smiled warmly and waved. With the barest hint of a smirk, he nodded at her when no one was looking. An answering grin let him know the message was conveyed.

"Derek wasn't able to come in and work today, so I'll be chaperoning today's visit. I'm Lindsay, one of the resident nurses here. I've known Lily for a couple of years now. I was so surprised to hear an old family friend wanted to visit. Her guardians have always been rather distant in terms of visits."

Clearing his throat, Severus nodded. "That is one way to put it. I moved long before the present situation occurred. Had I known the situation, I would have offered my assistance. It was just chance that we stumbled upon each other yesterday."

Lindsay nodded happily, completely oblivious to the lie being told. Scribbling away on her notepad, she gestured for him to sit at the table. When she moved to just outside the door, two sets of eyes looked at her in confusion.

"I follow a different approach to chaperoned visits than my counterparts. Since Lily's been on such good behavior, I'll sit right outside the door while you two speak. Yes, I will still be listening in, but hopefully this makes conversing a little bit easier. Remember, only an hour today since it's chaperoned."

"Thank you, Lindsay!" Lily proclaimed.


	3. Chapter 3: The Convenience of a Wand

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Just read it.**

**Author's Note: I'm using the films & the Harry Potter Lexicon as my main sources. Yes, I've also read and own the books. Another thing I wanted to note was that there will not be a romantic relationship between the two for a long time. I hope it's obvious why. I could technically make this story without any romance, but for my ending to work-it's just not possible. And yes, the epilogue's already written. I've known how this was to end from the very start and spent the morning writing it all out. Now I just get to take you all with me on the journey there. I promise it will be worth it if you do.**

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><p>Watching the nurse until she had left the room as promised, Lily's eyes lit up in excitement. This was going to be so much fun. Not even bothering to explain herself, the teen shook her arm lightly until a familiar piece of wood landed on the table. She grinned at Severus' expression. She had never been able to fool him often in the past, so this moment was being well-documented in her mind. That look was a mix of pure joy and disbelief. Pointing the handle towards him, she moved to sit on her legs in the chair.<p>

"Sev, this is my most prized possession. You most likely remember why."

Glancing at the open door again, she rose her voice a little higher and folded her hands in her lap. "Mom always did love that tree in the yard. I had to keep some sort of memento."

"I think that was a little too obvious, Lil", Severus muttered softly. She could see the small sliver of mirth in his eyes though, so she disregarded the comment and began to tap on the table. But Severus' thoughts were elsewhere. He seemed to be giving a lot of attention to their surroundings-more than usual for even him. Lily could not help but glancing behind herself in confusion. Nope, still the same old empty room. The one window across the way was creaked open to let some fresh air in, allowing for the slight sound of vehicles below to act as background to their conversation. Since the room was only used for chaperoned visits, decorations were skipped over. It could just as easily have been used for a storage closet.

"What are you staring at, Sev?"

"Nothing of importance."

His response was quick and seemed quite planned. Those eyes she once knew so well were a bit veiled even as he smirked softly. It was yet another blunt reminder that even with casual conversation these were not the same two best friends of the past. She hated fighting the wall he built up the first time. Now she had to start all over again—if he even let her try. She was brought back to the present when he carefully extended his hand out towards her wand. Meeting her eyes, he arched an eyebrow in question. Only when she nodded did he pick it up.

Both gasped when small sparks emitted from the tip. Her wand recognized him as its new owner. There were so many ways to interpret that. Feeling both a deep sense of loss at losing her own magic and a gain in Severus being the one to use it, Lily readjusted herself in her seat. No longer did she sit relaxed. Now her pose was more identical to that of her sister's strict posture. Lines indented into her forehead as she observed her friend's intense perusal of wand. This changed things. It wasn't until she heard Severus' chair move back that she realized tears had started falling down her face.

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><p>Lily's wand was somehow in her possession. That made no sense whatsoever. But neither did its owner's presence. When he saw those sparks emit from its tip, he experienced a deep sense of gratitude. He had not felt that level of emotion since he peered into Potter's eyes what he thought was the last time of his life. Studying with the intensity he would give a new potion, the ex-spy's mind went on overdrive.<p>

He had possession of a working wand. This wand hadn't been used in almost twenty years. There would be no reason for anyone to study its signature initially. Being too early post-war, he could still have enough time to use it for the current situation and create the appropriate false trails. He wouldn't have to use muggle means to escape. He could get Lily out of here right now. Yes, they could apparate to Spinner's End. But they couldn't stay there for long.

With the signature from his own wand the Ministry would be snooping around the area soon. He didn't have access to his wizard money, regardless of how small the amount was for the situation they found themselves in. But why worry about going that far? Get Lily to Spinner's End and have her settle for the night. Sneak over to her old home and secure that for them. Potter's relatives had been moved previous with the threat of the war. He wouldn't use the wand at her house, but he wouldn't make the foolish mistake of discarding a wand again. Rushing up from his chair, Severus prepared to obliviate the nurse outside. No reason to draw more Ministry attention with a muggle seeing the escape.

It was at that same moment he heard the sniffling. Please don't let those be tears. Those green eyes were staring at him with a look too similar to that day. Swallowing sharply, he held a hand out to her. Lily stared at it for the longest time. At least it felt that way. Not a single muscle in her body moved. She just allowed the tears to fall down her cheeks in grim acceptance.

"Lily."

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><p>Lindsay peered her head around the corner when she heard some light sniffling. She could just see Lily's strict form in the chair beyond the back of Mr. Snape. He was holding her wood stick close to his heart with his other hand open towards her. He must have been a good family friend. Making one last note in the file she was working on, she made her way into the room. Yet the moment she crossed into the room, the guest spun around towards her pointing the stick towards her as if it was a weapon.<p>

"Sir?"

She just heard something muttered before her mind went blank. The next moment she was sitting at the table of an empty visitation room. Jumping to her feet, she looked around the room in panic as the clock chimed 9:20 a.m. What was she doing in this room? There wasn't a visitation scheduled until noon. She was supposed to be checking in with another patient. How could she have gotten so off-track? Shaking her head, she grabbed her stack of files off the chair outside and walked down the hall. She really needed a vacation.

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><p>Lily's eyes were on Severus as Lindsay entered the room. Everything felt like a giant explosion. In a matter of seconds the nurse was handing Severus all of her files, taking his seat at the table with a glazed look, and then Severus gripped her arm before apparating them into the middle of his old living room. Snatching her hand away from his, she starting taking a few steps back.<p>

"An Imperius curse? You used an Unforgivable Curse on my nurse? What were you thinking? Why do you have my files? Why are we in your living room? Give me back my wand!"

This wasn't supposed to be how it went. Severus was supposed to complete the paperwork to get her out legally so they wouldn't have any interest in bothering her anymore before her 18th birthday. How could he use one of the curses? And on an innocent person? He already took her wand. Why was he taking this away from her too? This wasn't her Severus. She had warned him about the Dark Arts before. He used that spell so casually. Why was he able to do one without any care? What happened to her best friend over the years?

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><p>She might have well just said her thoughts aloud. Severus had absolutely no trouble reading the emotions in her eyes. He should have just obliviated the woman like he had originally planned. The last few months in the war made him act on instinct and the curse just flew out of his mouth. Of course she'd be angry with him. It was the same thing that had happened the first time. This wasn't meant to be a repeat of past misdeeds. He had to fix it somehow. Taking heed of her words, he placed her wand on the arm of the sofa she was next to. The files were set next to it moments later.<p>

"There might be something in the larder that is consumable. If not, I will be outside only for a few minutes. The files are for your eyes alone unless I'm given permission to see them. This was the safest place I could think of at the moment. Everything else will be explained in time. Please trust me in that."

Stepping back outside of his house, he decided to go and investigate her home while Lily was given time to cool off. He couldn't go down that road with her yet. It would be better to ignore it all for the time being. His feet soon fell into familiar steps from his childhood days. With any hope she would sleep heavy tonight. He preferred not to lie to her, but if he found it necessary to use the wand to make her old home usable—she'd just have to add it to offenses he had committed against her. He'd rather she be safe and angry than any other combination.


	4. Chapter 4: A Pile of Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: I apologize for the long delay in posting the next chapter. Had a number of things to deal with offline and I have just now had the time to sit down and write again. This is a short chapter due to my schedule today and it being filler information. Another (much longer) chapter will be up next. A lot more action is about to start. I was very excited to receive the 8-DVD collection for Christmas, so I re-watched the last film to make some notations on what I didn't want to forget. I hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome. **

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><p>Witches and wizards walked around Diagon Alley as if it were just a regular day. Unless someone had been a frequent visitor, they would never guess a war had recently been ended. Buildings were repaired with brand new signs and sales. Laughter filled the air as youths raced between stores. A group of wizards were having a heated argument over a newspaper splayed on the table. One man pointed down at a particular article for emphasis:<p>

_While work is being done to tally the final totals of those lost, we ask that readers send in whatever information they can. We are sorry to say there are currently no scheduled interviews with the savior whose location is unknown at this time. The majority of the Death Eaters have been caught, but we ask that any unusual sightings of magic are reported to the Ministry of Magic immediately. Owls are being sent on regular trips across the wizarding world to drop off important notices. Make sure to read them carefully and fill out required forms._

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><p>Lily listened carefully as Severus' steps grew farther away. He wasn't escaping the confrontation permanently. It would be discussed as soon as he returned. There were too many explanations he owed her for today. Too much history that seemed to go well beyond what she was expecting. Had the psych wards actually protected her from reality?<p>

Spinner's End hadn't changed in the least bit. It still felt as if it were an abandoned building rather than somewhere she would ever want to call home. Feeling the cold wood through her socks, she made her way to the chair he had placed her belongings on. Her eyes fell to her wand as she picked up her large set of files. She couldn't even bring herself to touch it after its allegiance had changed. It wasn't his fault, but it still felt like a betrayal. Her magic was just another thing on the long list of what she had lost.

Her fingers rubbed back and forth along the edge of the top file as if she could erase everything. Why couldn't he have just burned them? It's not as if he had been thinking clearly anyway. It would have saved her the time of ripping all of them up. She forced herself to take a deep breath and really think about it. She had no clue what sort of things had been said about her over the years, even if she could reach some obvious assumptions. It was better to just get it all over now and see what was said. There might be something worthwhile in it. Taking care as she set down in the chair, she lifted up the top of the first file.

* * *

><p>There weren't many people out on the road but for those that passed, Severus unconsciously angled his head away; the less that saw his face, the better. He was perfectly calm until he heard one of the worst noises that could happen—an owl's hoot. Fighting the urge to locate its exact position, he maintained a calm pace as he continued down the street. So the Ministry was finally doing their job? It just meant he was proven right. They would move the moment it grew darker.<p>

Peering over at the home from the corner of his right eye, it seemed the house was occupied. Cursing under his breath, he crossed the street. No cars were in the driveway, but the living room could be made out and the walls were yellow with framed photos hanging evenly. The owner was meticulous—probably someone with an upper-level position. And if that were the case, there was a high possibility that they lived alone. Ringing the doorbell, he waited. For a moment it seemed like no one would answer. And then the door gradually opened.

The young man's face was stoic although his eyes didn't hide suspicion of his visitor. Never revealing his hands, Severus assumed the idiot was holding something that could act as a weapon.

"Yes?"

"Forgive my intrusion, but I was wondering if the advertisement in the paper I saw was true. Is this property for rent?"

As the door opened further, Severus hid his grin. Of course it wasn't, but a confused owner was a gullible owner. The young man proceeded to answer negatively and inquire where the ad was seen. Severus continued to feed the conversation while subtly glancing inside—taking detail to everything he could. When the owner made the mistake of mentioning he would stop by the paper to get it removed, he thanked him for his time and left. It seemed Lily would have to be angry over one more curse.

* * *

><p>"What have you got for me, girl?"<p>

The owl landed on the window sill, extending its leg to the wizard. He pulled the letter off and watched the animal fly off. Carefully opening it up, his eyes slowly widened at its contents. He quickly pulled a quill out of a drawer before writing rapidly on some parchment. How was a dead man's wand found near his home when he was seen dead miles away, at Hogwarts no less? It looked like work was suddenly going to pick up again.

Giving the animal a treat, he reached in his pocket for a coin. There was a moment's pause as he studied it closely. He hadn't expected to need it again for a long time. With a deep breath, he closed his eyes and thought of the best way to phrase the message. This was sure to bring a few people out of hiding.

* * *

><p><em>April 8, 1994<em>

_Patient has been transferred from initial ward. Unusual obsession with calendar and for that reason has been restricted to writing on a monitored page, once a day. Refuses to accept reality and continues to speak of fanciful alternate life. Medications have been altered (see medication history for full descriptions). Responds well to reading exercises and puzzles—refuses to interact with other patients. She has been given a puzzle book when exhibiting good behavior. We will begin roommate rotation in two weeks to see if any changes occur._

Lily slammed the file shut and kicked it into the pile with the rest. They all followed the same sort of clinical assessments. Just as she thought, there was nothing of use. Not once did they even mention contact details for her adoptive parents. They had given complete custody to the government and disappeared. That didn't matter, though. She had no interest in going back to those people. Leaning her head back, she stared at the ceiling. Pretty soon she found her eyes closing and gradually drifted off.

* * *

><p>Severus shut the door behind him softly, not sure what he would be walking into. Seeing Lily fast asleep, he smiled softly and slipped his cloak off the hook by the door. He draped it over her shoulders and gently moved her head into a more comfortable position. As he allowed himself a moment's pause, the smile gradually left his face. What about this situation allowed him to accept it so willingly?<p>

It wasn't like him to take details for granted. Lily was dead. But her presence somehow manifested itself into this teenager. The mannerisms were right. The memories were right. But what magic had brought this on? Even if he did get her settled and managed to keep them both living comfortably-what end would it bring them? The memory gap and age difference...Not to mention his remaining injuries.

Readjusting the cloak one last time, he took her files from the psych ward and settled down to review them. There were still a few hours left until her could return to her former home.


	5. Chapter 5: Five Owls

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. I hope the obnoxiously long wait proved worth it.**

"How long has she been missing? When the case arrived at my desk, I came right over."

"I'd say roughly 14 hours now. When I first put in the call, it had been maybe 20 minutes. Most chaperoned visits last an hour. However, the resident nurse came out not too long after heading in. I tried asking her what was going on, but she had no memory of there being a visit. It was a rather frightening situation."

The receptionist's eyes were so emotive. Tears continued to fall down her cheeks as she kept focusing back and forth between the two detectives. Although she was a little confused on why this had already escalated beyond the police, she just wanted answers. That Snape had set off her red flag the moment he first approached her desk. Who knew what awful intentions he had with the girl? Playing off a mentally-ill patient's memories like that. What a cruel world this is...

The two wizards looked at each other while the muggle's mind continued to drift off. Casually slipping his wand from the holster, the brunette muttered something under his breath. His partner grinned as the edge of a black tattoo could be made out right underneath his shirt cuff. For a moment, all that could be heard was a horrible scream. And then, just silence. The kind that made your goosebumps feel like needle pricks.

* * *

><p><em>They were sitting under the tree. The same one they always sat at each summer. Not much was being discussed, but there was a certain peace that came with the sense of familiarity. <em>

_"Where did you go?"_

_Her eyes read of despair, even as her hand slipped into his. Squeezing lightly, she spoke again._

_"Severus, where did you go?"_

_But he couldn't respond. He couldn't give her that false hope. It was his fault and therefore the cause of this permanent repeat of penance. Her hair kept switch between red and black. Her skin lighted and darkened. But those green eyes...The only point of consistency kept begging him for answers he didn't have the capacity to give._

_"You'll always fail me, won't you? It doesn't matter how many times I ask. How many chances you're given. You'll always lose. That's why James won, you know? Sure, he had his faults. But not even he made the same mistakes that you did. Not even he would be heartless enough to claim he cared and use that slur. You're no better than your father, Severus. No better than the creature that marked your permanently. You deserve this, Severus. You deserve every aching moment of this for the rest of your life."_

_He didn't respond. He did deny a single, venomous word that left her lips. He deserved this. He truly did. Tears fell down his own cheeks as he sat and listening to the love of his life tear him down, again and again. Both of the physically changed from young children to their adult bodies. It didn't matter which version (or reincarnation) of her sat before him. He just took it all in._

_Her wand sat between them. It was angrily broken into numerous pieces. The magic having long abandoned it. He felt like that wand. Remnants of a once powerful force of magic, not quite able to be put back together. Discarded in the field, just left to drift away and decay. The muscles in his throat felt as if they were scrapping against each other. He couldn't help but run a hand across his throat-a phantom kindness that would never reach his veins._

_"Severus, can you hear me?"_

_He just kept rubbing at the scar. Rubbing...rubbing...until the skin started to chaff. But he couldn't feel the pain anymore. Rubbing..._

_"Severus, please. I need you to wake up."_

* * *

><p>"Severus!"<p>

Eyes flashed open as he jabbed the wand in front of him. It met it's target as a choked shout reached his ears.

"Sev!"

A shaky hand left his throat. Sweat drop trickling down his arm like rain drops as he started to regain control of his senses. Lily had moved away from him with a disturbed expression on her face. The red dot on her neck giving away that she hadn't moved fast enough. Nothing was spoken for the moment. Both people taking the other in.

* * *

><p>She had been sleeping peacefully when she heard something smack against the floor. Her drowsy gaze coming across the pile of her files having slipped off the coffee table. Coming to a more awake state, she realized Severus had arrived. Although he had obviously been asleep as well (on the cold floor to the left of her), his posture read as defensive. Over the next hour, she just watched him sleep. It was quite boring for the longest until the tears started falling.<p>

He seemed to curl more inward as he started sweating heavily. His breathing wasn't as consistent. She's seen enough nervous breakdowns in the ward to realize what was going on. Carefully getting to her feet, she tried speaking softly from a distance first. But it wasn't working. Moving a little closer, she tried again without any success. Taking a deep breath, she crouched down in front of him and tried on last time. Her hand hadn't even made contact when he was instantly sitting up and jabbed the wand into her neck.

It was just the right angle and caused her to choke out a response. She couldn't help her reaction, the little space behind her was reoccupied as she tried to process what just happened. What had he been planning to do next? Would she have been able to try to escape? She had no wand nor any experience with self defense. Her talent with words was completely useless in this situation.

Severus' eyes seems to clear almost instantly as a few emotions crossed his face-horror, embarrassment and finally wariness.

* * *

><p>"Lily"<p>

How could one word truly say so much? It took a few seconds for him to realize he had been awoken. Although the nightmare had altered a bit, it wasn't anything new to him. It wasn't even the first time someone had tried to wake him from it. But to forget his surroundings so quickly. Her reaction wasn't the least bit shocking. Schooling his features, the ex-spy set the wand down.

"I'll get some ice for your neck."

Without waiting for a response, he walked into the kitchen. Her soft footsteps could be heard behind him and he braced himself for the words to come. Yet she said nothing. And somehow, that made the situation even worse. The look on her face wasn't as judging as it had been, but it didn't read inviting either. There were no napkins available, so he could only awkwardly hand her the ice cube. As her fingers brushed against his, he forced himself not to flinch.

Looking out the window, he realized it was later than expected. They needed to get moving immediately. He was about to turn around when he noticed the owls. There were five of them. They had been discovered. Calmly pivoting around, he realized Lily's gaze was at the door. Or more specifically, where the door should have been.

It suddenly exploded and he went into defense mode. The wand was still sitting where he left it on the coffee table. But that no longer mattered. If they knew he lived, he'd be traced regardless. Grabbing Lily's arm, he swung her behind him with the first spell already leaving his lips. They were in the midst of apparating as he felt her loosen in his grip with a painful groan. Unable to see why, he could only hope she didn't splinch beyond recovery.

* * *

><p>Two witches were walking quickly towards Spinner's End as word were rapidly exchanged. The older of the two kept glancing behind herself in fear. After the third time in a row, her younger sister smacked her back sharply and grumbled. Rubbing her back the best she could, the older sister sighed aloud.<p>

"Why are we here again?"

The younger witch rolled her eyes at her sister. Placing a hand on her hip, she stopped walking and shifted her weight to her left side.

"What do you mean, '_why are we here again_'? The Ministry came across Snape's wand out here just a few hours ago and now Lily Potter's wand was suddenly used. Why would we not be here?"

"But Mary", Agatha chimed back. "Why would they only send the two of us? I know most of the team's still doing recovery from the war-and I'm not downplaying that tragedy-but two witches for this level of violation? Who decided that? With the names involved, we should have more like...twenty of us, at least."

Mary shook her head in disbelief before walking off again. Waving her sister on, she hissed, "Agatha, shut up and get to work. The faster we do the initial investigation, the faster the next team can move in. You act like we just graduated and this is our first assignment. Follow protocol. Keep your wand out, run the diagnostic spells, and get back to the apparation point as quickly as possible. The moment the team sees us arrive, they're heading right in. If whoever's up to this mischief is still hanging around, the owls will have given us away."

Agatha finally stopped glancing around and nodding. She had just starting moving again when they ran out of time. The smokey figures were the first giveaway. Then the green emblem appeared in the sky. Shaking her head, she froze up as the wand was pointed at her chest. That wasn't supposed to be possible anymore. How could that still be possible?

"Stupify!"

"Mary!"

Her sister spun around and shouted in horror, "Agatha, run!"

"Bombarda!"

The door to Spinner's End blew away. And not by the right team...


End file.
